"Rob
Parnell is the World's Foremost Writing Guru"
2008 & 2009 Writers Digest Best Writers' Site 2010
Critters Best Writers' Info Site
THIS WEEK'S ARTICLE:
When You Hate
Your Own Writing...
Rob Parnell
It's one
of those bizarre phenomena - the way writers see-saw
between a love/hate relationship with their own writing.
You're in the throes of a story or an article - you don't
want to stop because you're feeling inspired. Each word
and phrase seems to resonate with profound meaning. The
drama and/or the thought process seems to be unfolding
well - and you're on a high. Finally, it seems as though
the hotline between your thoughts and the page are in
sync - you're writing well and all is right with the
world.
This feeling can last a few hours, even a few days...
... until you look back at what you've done.
Then the angst sets in.
The writing you thought was superb suddenly seems clunky
and inadequate. The phrases you particularly liked now
seem awkward and ill-formed. Worse, your intellect seems
exposed: you feel as though your writing shows you to be
the hack you never wanted to be: the metaphors lack depth
and the imagery is weak. The writing doesn't work. It's
just, well, awful...
"The horror, the horror!" to quote Joseph
Conrad who, irritatingly enough, wrote in several
different languages and still managed to look like a
genius in all of them. Gah!
What's a writer to do?
First take comfort in the fact that all writers go
through this.
There's not a one that at some point didn't think they
were the worst writer in the world (even Joseph Conrad.)
It's got nothing to do with talent or dedication or
practice or experience. Every writer goes through periods
of self doubt. It's part of the landscape.
Next, take stock.
What have you got?
At the very least you've got some words on paper. You can
congratulate yourself that you've at least done something
90% of would be writers struggle with - actually doing
it.
If you're working to a, usually self imposed, deadline,
this is good. At least you don't have to go through the
pain of starting. There's something down. The rest is
surely just editing...
If only it were that easy.
Sometimes I wish I was more easily satisfied. It would be
wonderful to write a few lines and think, Now that's
cool. Perfect, I don't need to change a thing.
But that's not how it works.
I have a semi-finished novel I've been editing for
months. I do a little every day if I can. It's around
85,000 words altogether and do you know what?
Every single time I sit down to work on it, I end up
reworking the damned opening paragraph!
I can't understand why but every time I open up the file,
I feel the need to edit the beginning. Is that
perfectionism? It doesn't feel like it. Seems more like
insecurity - or simply frustration that I can't find a
bunch of words that work for me every time. I mean, how
hard can it be?
Breathe...
We have to be patient.
We have to take our time.
As you know, I'm all for writing the first draft of a
novel in around thirty days. Or around 30000 to 50000
words a month.
Stephenie Meyer says she wrote Twilight in just three
months. Makes you want to throttle her, doesn't it?
If there's any justice it took at least a couple of years
to edit.
Because editing is where the work is. My novel has around
ninety chapters - and after beating myself up over the
final manuscript for the last week, I've made a few
decisions.
1. It's not really ready to send out. (I have actually
sent it out twice and received two rejections. I can
handle it - not.)
2. If I'm going to edit it again, I need to do it slowly,
taking care over every singe word. Only then will I be
happy - won't I?
3. At one short chapter a day of around 1000 to 2500
words, it will take me about three months to edit the
whole novel (again). But that's okay. What's three months
when the final, final, final version will last forever,
right?
Fiction in particular I think is hard to get right. Easy
to write, hard to get right. Fiction needs to look
effortless - which ironically requires more effort on the
part of the writer.
But in my own case, I'm sure it will be worth it.
I want this next novel to be perfect - to impress
everyone who reads it. I want it to be a bestseller...
Is that asking too much?
Maybe. You can't expect everyone to like a story.
Okay, I can accept that.
It's just that I have to like it first!
Thank you for letting me vent.
I hope this little rant helps with your own writing
demons.
